your body is a wonderland?

i recently went to dinner with a friend and we were talking about the dating scene here in princeton. we got on the subject of what it would mean if we lived in a way that we had complete confidence in our bodies. we were discussing what it means to keep men in the "friend zone." one of the more interesting aspects of the conversation went something like this: men tend to be attracted to confidence. myself and my friend are both very confident women when it comes to most every aspect of our lives. both of us have many men who are friends and many men who want to spend time with us. the area of our lives that we are both insecure is concerning our bodies, so we never interact in a way that would show physical interest in the men (even when we are very physically attracted to them). this keeps the men in the "friend zone." so, we pondered, what would it look like to just go for it, to not keep the men we spend time with at arm's length, to not assume from the outset that they would never want to be more than friends. this, it seems, could lead to heartache, but it could also lead to something very different than our current experiences.

some of you may be wondering what all this has to do with what i normally write about, but i would say that this is integrally connected. as i am trying to make peace with food and my body in a non-judgmental and healthy way, it is really important that i begin to make peace with my body in relationship to potential relationships. as someone who has spent the majority of my life hating my body, there seems to be nothing more terrifying than being naked with someone i love and hoping that they would be pleased by my body. this, i would say is one of the reasons that relationships with the opposite sex are really difficult. not because i am thinking i will jump in the sack with the guys i date, but i date in expectation that it could lead to marriage. ergo, sex is a part of the consciousness. as i strive for a healthy understanding of food, my body, my brain, etc., this is a part of the equation that is probably really important.

i will keep ruminating on this...